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Time stood still…

I hear Raymond talking on the phone. It doesn’t sound good… This is bad. This is really bad. I can’t listen to this. I just can’t.

I run upstairs to our bedroom. Just let me go. Please don’t follow me. Don’t tell me what you just heard. Just don’t. I need to walk. Keep moving as if nothing is wrong.

This is not happening.
This is not true.
Not now.
Not now please.
It’s too soon.
It’s way too soon.

There he is. Ready to tell me…

But I already know. I can feel it. I just know…

“Laris, dad is… he’s dead…”

This was us, two years ago. Even around this exact time….

I can clearly remember that night. Jiro was in bed, and the two of us were watching a movie. A movie of which we were making fun, because “there’s so many people dying in this movie, it’s insane!”.

And then…

Everything changed.

Time stopped.

Nightmare began.

Hello death.

Bye dad.

Oh hi, Braxton hicks contractions at 25 weeks. Oh hi to you too, depression and c-ptsd.

Exactly 2 years ago everything was so different.

How we all have grown through it. How we all have learned from it. How we all survived it. And how we all thrive… despite of it.

Today…
The 8th will always be a sad date. But today was also a gorgeous sunny day. Exactly what my dad would have noticed about today. Because, a sunny day it was…. It really was!

To my dearest dad,
I love you.
I miss you.
Always.

My new 7-day program is here!

Destroy inner conflict and enjoy life again!

Start loving life again, because you truly deserve it.

Here’s to all the amazing women here. Those of you who know success in life and a career, but just got lost along the way. The ones who work hard, but know there is more. More to life. More to love. More to enjoy. No matter the hardships! No matter the past!

You’re not alone in this! I know what it’s like to struggle with daily life. Constantly wondering: “Is this it? There should be more! Right?”

RIGHT!

Believe me: There is so much more to life than you’re now feeling. Life is meant to be fun. You are supposed to enjoy it. You are supposed to feel loved. Life is meant to be filled with positivity.

I know what it’s like to go from a successful life and career, to a DARK place with seemingly no way out. I mean, being diagnosed with fibromyalgia, depression and complex post-traumatic stress disorder. And my diagnosis came only a few months after having given birth to our youngest son. So we should actually add those hormones to the mix too….

But I found a way to change the way I felt. Not just with therapy, and yes I’ve had that. It’s normal, and I honestly believe that everyone could benefit from it. But that’s something else…
The way that you’re feeling right NOW,  needs drastic changes. More than only a weekly talk to figure some things out. It requires you to work on yourself. Your thinking pattern. Your behaviour. Your complete mindset even. It requires you to dig really deep, so thjat you can start enjoying life again!

Believe me: There is so much more to life than you’re now possibly feeling. Life is meant to be fun. You are supposed to enjoy it. You are supposed to feel loved. Life is meant to be filled with positivity.

This is not some kind of super difficult to reach goal. Let me repeat that for you now:

It is NOT difficult!

So yes, you can feel amazing too. I promise you! All it takes is a few tools and new ways of doing things. All with which you can change your mindset completely. And it’s actually quite simple.

BUT…
Yes there’s a “but…

It requires you to work on it…
* To dig really deep.
* To unleash emotions.
* To face your fears.
* To let it all out. All of it!
* In ANY way it needs to come out….

Oh, and did I mention that it does require you to write? A lot! So get your pen and notebook or journal ready. You’ll need it! And you’ll love it too. You will!

I’ll show you the way to all of this – and SO MUCH MORE – in my new 7-day program “Destroy inner conflict and enjoy life again!”

A program that is bound to leave you inspired and motivated to turn things around. It will show you how to get rid of that screaming voice inside your head that makes you not act on things you should. That makes you stop going after what you truly want. A program that will give you a kick-start into enjoying life to the fullest again, by following your very own inner wisdom. Because you deserve a happy life filled with positivity and joy!

Coacing Larissa den Enting empowered Loa mentor fear

So are you:
A driven woman who feel there’s more to life than you’re currently seeing?
A powerful woman who’s ready for the next level?  Ready to do whatever it takes?
And are you ready to find your way again? No matter how lost you might be feeling right now?

Sounds like you? Yes, right?!

Here’s what we will be doing in this program:

It’s going to be next level AMAZING! We’re going to make huge shifts in your thinking pattern, every single day during this course. And I just know you’ll continue to use what you’ve learned for the rest of your life. It really is that amazing!

I am going to show you awesome ways on how to release fear and destroy inner conflict, so that you can get a positive look on life again. No matter your past! Because I know it is possible. For everyone.

Over these 7 days I’ll be creating a DAILY training for you. Every day you will be working, together with me, on releasing limiting beliefs and fears that hold you back. Because that’s what it does. It holds you back from living a life that you really enjoy. It keeps you feeling stuck, not happy, and unable to see a way out. We are going to change it ALL in this program, because you can do it. I did, and I just know that you can too.

During these 7 days, you will get an exercise for each and every day. So yes, you will be working on yourself, every single day. And it will give you so many insights on yourself, it totally mind blowing, I promise you. You will get access to a secret Facebook group, where I’ll do live videos with exercises. I have audios for you to listen to, journaling exercises every day, and so much more.

You will learn to:
* Be gone with negativity
* Journal your way to inner joy
* Change your outlook on life
* How to get rid of inner conflict
* Overcome fear and never let it stop you
* Accepting your reality, yes even the bad stuff
* AND… you will feel excited and motivated to start your day

Are you ready to make significant changes in your life? Are you ready to do what you need to do? Are you ready?

Then just say yes and start working on yourself.
Start working with me. And start kicking these inner conflicts in the ass, so that you can enjoy life again!


Yes, i'm in

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Still reading?
Not sure about what you’ll get out of this program? Here’s some even more detailed information on what we will be covering.

Your current NOW:
Yes, sorry hun. OK, perhaps more of a “sorry but not so sorry”… In order to make a lasting change, we need to look at your current now. I know it can be scary. And yes, tears may follow too. But it’s all OK.

We will dive into your current reality to see what it’s like. No judgements here, just checking it all out so that you get a clear vision on what you have now, based on choices of the past.

It’s all about acceptance, baby:
In order to get from the point in life where you are now, we need to make some serious changes. But only looking at the future is not helpful. You do know right? All your past decision, made your life the way it is now. And that’s perfectly fine.

I mean, everything is always perfect. Even in extremely challenging times, it’s perfect the way it is. Perhaps it doesn’t look that way to you right now.  I can relate. But difficult times offer you a chance to learn, to grow.

Let’s play an imaginary game.|
OH… How I LOVE this one! OK, seriously though… I love everything about this program, because I have seen how it works. I did it myself, and it works. Period.

So, we’re going to play a little game. It’s a game with which we trick your mind. I promise you, it really works! We will be looking at your perfect day during which you feel amazing, energetic, happy, loved, and all that you want. This is all about getting clear on what you long for, what you truly desire.

How do you now feel? AND… What do you want to feel?
Such a simple question to ask, and a question that is often asked without people really wanting you to give an honest answer. A difficult question perhaps. But… We will do this in a different way than you would normally do. This is going to make you shift quickly!

Holding yourself back
The power of fear… Fear is such an important factor in our lives that we often forget it’s there. That we even forget we’re automatically making decisions based on fear. And that, my dear, is holding you back from living a life that you really enjoy. A life filled with positivity.

Believe me, I KNOW how limiting fear is. Having suffered from depression and complex ptsd, I have lived in a state of fear for way too long. And it really holds you back from enjoying life, and getting the most out of life. We’ll be looking at what it’s doing to you, and I’ll teach you a new way of addressing fear.

Gratitude
O.M.G! There’s so much power in gratitude, that I could actually make an entire course about gratitude. Perhaps I will even do so later on. But for now, let’s focus on doing this here and NOW. Feeling gratitude and being seriously thankful for everything in your life, is a mind changing tool. Instantly switch from a negative outlook, into a positive one. Absolutely.The.Best!

What’s included:
* Daily trainings
* Live video traning
* Audio training
* Journaling exercises
AND…. There’s going to be so much more! I already know some really cool extra things that I will be adding to the training Because I just KNOW that you will like it too. It’s all about a complete mind, body and soul make-over, and it’s going to be awesome.

So… Yes! It’s pretty damn good, right?!

Heard enough? You just know you need to be in? Then let’s do this!

Say yes to “Destroy inner conflict and enjoy life again!”. We kick off on February 26.

Yes, i'm in

Get in the TOP 10 and receive awesome bonuses too!
If you’re in the top 10 to say yes first, you get access to amazing bonuses too! You get access to a full week extra training, through pre-work.

I’ll show you the basics of journaling, meditation and affirmations. An absolute must-do when you’re serious about changing your life for the better. I strongly believe in the powers of writing and meditating, so I’ll take you through all of the processes I use to get rid of limiting beliefs around self-love, fears, sadness, stress, and so much more. This is a life-changer; I promise you that!

PLUS… You get access to my e-book “30 affirmations for self-love” for FREE! This book is filled with tips on the effects of journaling, my daily practices, and of course amazing positive affirmations for you to use. I just know you’ll love it!

Coacing Larissa den Enting empowered Loa mentor love


Want to be a vip in “Destroy inner conflict and enjoy life again!”???

Of course! I’m a VIP, baby. Here’s what being a VIP (5 only!) means….

* Private mentoring call with me to dive into why you are struggling now. Why you let fear and inner conflict rule your life too much. As well as what you’d need to KNOW and DO in order to overcome that.

* 7 days private access to me. You can ask me ANYTHING over these 7 days and you’ll get my insights about it, all through use of Facebook Messenger.

Yes, VIP


About the PRE-WORK!
Say YES to being in Destroy inner conflict and enjoy life again! and make sure that you’  join before February 19. That way you’ll get access to the pre-work.

You’ll be able to join in LIVE with the pre-work, which takes place on Monday February 19. YES, that’s a complete week of extra training for you. For free! Crazy right?! But so good!

In the pre-work LIVE training I’ll be talking about the basics of journaling, meditation and affirmations. These things are such an important part of the entire training. In fact these practices for the basis of it all. I’ll take you through all of the processes I use to get rid of limiting beliefs around self-love, fear, sadness, stress, and so much more. This is a life-changer; I promise you that!

So, what are you doing here still? Waiting? Reading? Overthinking even?

You are ready for this. Let’s do this!

Yes, i'm in

Yes, VIP

 

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Let’s pretend…

✨ Let me play a little imaginary game with you! ✨

Now imagine this:

You’re a teenager who’s into the typical teenager things:
* Hanging out with friends.
* Trying to fit in with the cool people.
* Listening to your favourite music.
* Being a bit rebellious too.
* BUt also trying to find out who you really are.

But there’s a catch….

You’re also a teenager who has to escape from a living nightmare, every single day. Who has to escape from reality in your home.

Going to school, is your escape.
Going to your weekend job, is your escape.
Going to different cities to wander around, is your escape.

You’re even asked to look after the house of your internship employer during their vacation. Not just taking care of the mail and watering plants. No, you’re required to stay in their home. Sleep in their home. Because they see the urgent need for a safe place. A place where you can unwind. Relax. Feel a tiny bit of security.

But every day you have to go back home, after those precious hours that you finally felt free. That you felt normal even.

So you’re standing there. In front of your home.
Wishing, hoping, praying for it to be normal.
“Please let nothing happen to me today”.

Trying to sneak up into your own bedroom. Wishing you would be safe there.
But you’re not…

You can’t even keep photos, money or other personal items in your room. Because there would always be someone who would take it. ALWAYS!

Only for you to find your photos again, months later, seeing they’re tempered with. Some crazy writing on it. Strange oily substances on it. And even things that look like herbs on it. Stones, some sort of snake skin, all that bizarre stuff…

Can you imagine living like that as a teenager? CAN YOU?!

This was my reality! My life, for years…
Living in fear of what each day would bring. What would be done to me. What would happen to me. What would become of me.

I now know that this is not a normal way of living. That this is far from healthy. And then I haven’t even mentioned more detailed stuff that was going on. ‘Cause it’s just too much…

But back then I used to tell myself it was no big deal. That it was normal. That it didn’t even affect me.
Turns out that this is a normal way for people to cope with extreme situations. Normalize it, and just keep on breathing. Your basic survival instinct kicks in, just to make sure that you survive each day.

I have been on a inner journey to heal from this. And I can tell you that it has been a long road.
A really long road…

But I now finally dare to say that I made it.
That I am a new version of me. A better version. Improved. Happy. Thankful. Loving. And yes, even accepting of it all.

It took me more than a year of extremely hard work. Complete dedication to start loving myself again. To start loving life again.

It was either doing the needed work and going through it all, or simply giving up. Giving up on myself, giving up on life.

I chose to fight.

All because I knew that there was more to life. That there was more to explore. To love. To enjoy. To live.

And yes, it required of me to dig deep. Tear open these old wounds, let it bleed, let all the pain and suffering get out. It got out of my system in the most intense ways possible.

But I survived! Damn…. I have seen what hell is like. I have lived there. Not only when everything happened to me when I was a teenager.
No, by tearing open these old wounds I got to relive it all…

I can so clearly remember me standing in the kitchen playing around with asprins. Wondering how many I would take. How many I could need to take. Just to make it all stop. To make my misery stop. To free me from all those painful memories.
Because that was the only way I could then see how it would stop. By simply making an end to my life. Leave everyone behind, even my husband and 2 amazing kids.

Thank God I didn’t do it. ‘Cause going through it all, really showed me that there is more to life then just misery. You only have to know the right way to deal with it.

Therapy helped me a lot with learning how to deal with it all. So yes, I believe in the powers of therapy. Honestly, everyone could benefit from a bit of self reflection every now and then. It will only get you so much further in life, so why the secrecy around it? But that’s a whole different subject….

But there’s so much more to it! It’s not just about healing. It’s about finding joy in life again.

Learning how to heal from it all.
Learning how to dig really deep.
How to change your beliefs about yourself.
And how to find that inner wisdom of yours.

Because it’s there, my dear.
It’s always been there.
Also in you!

It’s guiding you. Inspiring you. Telling you what’s OK and what’s not.

All you have to do is tune in and listen carefully. Dig deep and break free from your old beliefs about yourself. Because healing from within needs more than only therapy. It needs you to look at your life without judgement. It needs you to understand your true beliefs about yourself. Only then you are able to truly change it all.

And hey: If I can do it, you can do it too!

XOXO
Larissa

p.s. I’m going to tell you a little secret… One that I have been shifting towards for some time now. It’s a little secret that has been playing in my mind, but one that I know is going to be next level amazing.

So here goes…

You want to know what it takes to dig deep?
To find out about your true self beliefs?
What doing the inner work really means?

AND…
How you can use it all to create the life that you actually enjoy? A life filled with positivity, fun and love.

I’ll show you the way to all of this – and SO MUCH MORE – in my soon to be launched 7 day program!

A program that is bound to leave you inspired and motivated to turn things around, and start enjoying life to the fullest.

‘Cause that’s what you deserve baby!

Keep an eye out for more info.

Self-care isn’t selfish

Are you doing what you should be doing? The things that are good for you?

I know now that making yourself a priority is a must. No, it’s not selfish!
Being selfish is is a crazy thing. Because who says it’s being selfish when you take care of yourself? When you do things for you? As if it is something wrong. A bad thing to do…

Choosing yourself, is done out of love for yourself. Pure, deep love! No matter if it’s about the big stuff in your life, or the small things. Choosing for yourself is a must.

Also working out regularly is done out of love for yourself. Taking care of your body the way it deserves. That is why I believe in the power of doing mindset work, as well as taking good care of your body. So exercise often and eating a healthy balaced diet. Because, if you deeply love yourself, you also love your body. AND… therefore you treat it in a respectful way.

So today I went to the gym again after a period of not going there. Mostly because of the extreme side effects of my EMDR therapy, which had me floored for 3 days in a row after each session. And I had sessions each week, so yeah… Not much to go on…

But then I kept sticking to this pattern. Simply because I didn’t prioritise working out. Because I chose to make other things more important. And that’s the thing here: it’s a choice. It really is as simple as that. You either workout or you don’t. Making excuses is always an option. I mean, been there done that…

But how amazing is it that you actually get to decide for yourself what to do with your life? What your day looks like? What you get to do on a day? How you’re treating your body each day?

Sure, I get it…
You don’t have time.
You’re busy busy busy.
You’re really tired.
You don’t know where you left your sportswear.
And you really have to be some place in 2 hours…
You know what? Let’s do this tomorrow… But for real right?!

That’s the way it works, isn’t it? For most people it is.

Here’s the thing:
You’ll always be able to find an excuse not to workout. ALWAYS!

What works for me, is thinking about the way I feel after going to the gym. After a good workout. Sure, at first I might too not feel like it. But afterwards…

I feel amazing.
Energetci.
In flow.
Proud.
Strong.
Motivated.

And then – just by simply reminding myself of that feeling – I am again motivated to go work out. Just because it feels so good!

So everytime I feel the need to go to the gym, but my mind keeps playing tricks on me? Making excuses not to go? I remind myself of that feeling. Every time again!

Or I even question myself what I want to feel for the rest of the day. Do I want to:
* Feel bad that I didn’t go?
* Kick myself for caving in, again?
* Even though I really intended to go!

Or do I choose something else? A different state of mind?
* Feel proud for sticking with my intention.
* Be filled with positive energy.
* Clear my mind through a good workout.
* Take good care of my body!

That sure makes it an easy decision, right?!

Making choices about stress

Fuck it… I’m going to say it out loud here…

I can NOT handle stress!
Just can’t. NOt even a little bit. I just can’t…

Or something else: “I’m at my best when under stress”. And know I have said this long ago, plenty of times even. But it’s just not true. I am at my best when in flow, and that is something completely different than stress. Stress isn’t well for anyone.

I can actually feel stress settling down in my body. It shows up as physical pain. Of course, stress is a mental thing, but it almost always shows itself as a physical thing. Whether you see or feel it, or not. It’s there. Always.

Today I’m feeling the stress. A lot even. Our oldest had an extreme allergic reaction to something, and we don’t know what caused it. His skin is itchy, covered in tiny red bumps. His hands and face are swollen, and he has difficulty breathing through his nose.
So, quite a lot to worry about…

The first place I can feel the stress coming up, is in my neck. All muscles thighten. It even seems like my neck vertebrae get locked up. I can hear it all squeaking! Then the tiredness follows. Just like my fibromyalgia. And then it’s all complete… A physical pain party due to stress.

To me this tells me a lot. Sure, the fact that stress is not OK for me and my body. But also that I need to make different choices in my life. About the way I live life, what I do, what is right for me, and what’s not right for me.

And yeah, this also means I’m making choices others won’t understand. Things of which others say:
“Are you really doing THAT?”
“I don’t feel like you’re making a wise decision.”
“Don’t be so foolish!”
“Did you even consider the consequences?”

Trust me: thinking about consequences is a thing I do way too often. I’m a real over-thinker.
The very best when it comes to figuring out all tiny details.
Making elaborate plans.
Finding the pros and cons.

I’m even really good at thinking about every possible doom scenario. INCLUDED all
possible solutions to each and every scenario. I could possibly be the world’s best at it.

So all my choices are always well thought of. But these days my choices are more and more based on what FEELS good. What feels right for me.

Living based on my feelings and true purpose, and less from my mind and all thoughts.

And yes, that also means that the choices I’m making, may seem totally illogical to you. But for me, these are the best choices ever to be made. Just because it feels good. And that… That makes it the best decision ever!

What does your soul need?

Are you doing the things that your soul needs? The things it craves?

It’s not something that you WANT to do, or someone you want to BE. It’s the things that make you YOU. The things that you need to function well, to live life in the best way possible.

I believe, no I KNOW, that your soul has a huge impact on who you are as a human being. The way you live life. What you need to do on a daily basis to be happy.

To me, some things are just an absolute MUST. Things that are good for my soul, things that I need.  To feel good. Happy. Satisfied even.

So here’s a list with a few of my soul needs:

* Writing and speaking to inspire and motivate others, you…
I really can’t do without this. The last few days I have been putting way too little time into this, and it does something to me. I get that tired, restless feeling. The not belonging, the purpose-less feeling, feeling disconnected to myself even.

* Sunshine and light
Gosh, this may sound a bit odd as being a soul need. But to me it is. I really need sunshine and light. I’m that kind of person who, if I don’t go outside enough in the winter, I get stuck into this negative feeling. Sunshine and light gives me so much energy. It really feeds my soul.

* Warmth
Another somewhat vague thing, as it is not something materialistic. But I need warmth. Not just because I just hate the cold, but because – when I feel warmth (preferably from the sun, but the heating, a cup of hot coffee or tea, a warm blanket or lots of cuddles will do too), I feel myself calming down. Relaxing even.

* A healthy lifestyle
I have spent quite some time figuring out what is good for me with regards to my lifestyle. Mainly because of my fibromyalgia. But now I just know… A healthy lifestyle is part of who I am. It is what I need to feel good every day. So happy that I just love my veggies (salads, slow juices and more) and working out regularly.

* Flowers and plants
A long time ago, I worked in an amazing flower shop. There I was, obviously, always surrounded by the most amazing flowers and plants. A bit of nature indoors, if you will. But since recently I realized that this is just part of me. I need green lucious plants around me. I need big bouquets of flowers in our home. It always makes me feel more connceted to nature. The vibrant colours, the smell. Don’t know what my connection to it is, but I do kow that I need it around me to feel my best.

So here you go, these are just a few examples of my “soul needs”. My entire list is a really long list actually. A list of things that I need, DAILY, to feel as best as I can. To be the best I am. To function optimally.

Do you know yours? Do you know what your soul needs are? The things you just can’t do without?

Honour them, it’s so important!

A vicious circle

Whenever I see someone who is hurt or looks sad, it makes me sad too. Knowing this person isn’t feeling well. Not loving him or herself, or at least not enough. Not accepting his/her being. Maybe even feels hate towards him/herself. Doens’t think he/she is beautiful. Not fun, good looking, smart, you name it…

And the reason why this person feels this way? Often you can find the reason for it, in the past.  Mostly in the childhood even. The time where your character is shaped. The perion that is super important in the way you shape yourself.

I have been there too. I know that, everything in your past, defines the way you look at life now. It defines the way you feel now. The way you think about yourself. The way you ARE. The way you DO.

Your work.
Your daily life
The way you interact with your partner
With your kids
With friends
With money
With your body

I honestly swore to NEVER treat my kids the way I was treated by my mother. Never!

About 6 years ago, when we decided we wanted to try to get pregnant, I knew – on a soul level – that this baby couldn’t be a girl. That just wasn’t an otion. It just couldn’t be. Not that a girl wouldn’t be loved. No, of course not.

But it would be too confronting for me.  I had a terrible example of a mother-daugter relationship. And I was extremely afraid that I would, then, follow that example. Huring my child the exact way she did to me. No matter how awful it was, no matter how much I hated her for it. I just knew that having a girl would be risky, for all of us.

We have 2 boys. Two amazing, loving, cheeky, naughty and energetic boys. Yes, sometimes the drive me craze with their bouncy energy. I mean, I really love my peace and calm. I just need that stillness around me.

During the pregnancy of my youngest, I used to say all the time: This boy needs to be a calm and peaceful boy, kind of like my character. The oldest would be the one (well, together with his dad then) the energetic, bouncy, busy one. And then I would have this gentle, calm, peaceful boy on “my side”. Kind of like keeping the balance.

But nope… During one of the echo’s this little one was already super busy. The woman making the echo tried to capture him on a photo. And there it was. The first sign that this was absolutely not going to be this super calm little boy. “Oh man, he just doens’t want to stay still. I can’t even make this photo for you!” Wow, OK, already super busy.

But I know that you always get what you need. To grow. To develop. Exactly what is needed for that inner growth.

Guess I got what I needed. To amazing boys, that I love to the moon and back. And I just know that I will never hurt them the way I was hurt. Not just because they are boys and not girls. No, because I have grown as a human being. As a mother.

It is my duty, my purpose, to change the course. Change the course of my family’s history. The hurt, sadness, pain, injustice, disrespect. I choose to do things differently.

These are not just words, like the way people often say things. Especially when it comes to doing something totally different than your parents.

Because, how often do you hear this:
Kids are being abused (mentally, emotionally, physically even).
They grow up and have kids of their own.
Ad then start to abuse their kids.

NO MATTER how bad it felt when they were hurt themselves by their parents. No matter how much pain they felt. No matter how it changed then. No matter how sad they felt. No matter how the swore to never do this to their kids.

Let be honest here. It’s a vicious circle. One that is extremely hard to break through. But hard or difficult, doens’t mean it’s impossible to do. It is POSSIBLE! You just have to choose to do so, actively.

Every day again. Every hour even.

 

Choose to do it differently. And then take the right action. Doing what you say you’ll be doing. Acting on it. Doing what you promised yourself, and your kids.

That’s the way. The ONLY way!

Dare to be YOU!

Do you dare to be yourself? Be your amazing self? Unappologetically?
Show yourself to the world – the exact way that you are! No holding back!

I have been hiding my true self for a long time. Most of my life even. It all came down to feeling not worthy enough.

Not pretty enough
Not funny enough
Not smart enough
Not skinny enough
Not athletich enough

Hell…. sometimes even too smart in highschool. ‘Cause being smart wasn’t going to make me popular. The exact opposite even!Looking back on my life, I realized that most of these so called beliefs were created in my childhood. Feeling unwanted, not popular, if that’s what you want to call it.

And most of it was based on the way OTHER people treated me. Not based on how I felt deep down inside.

Yes, I wore glasses. Yes, later on I had braces too. Yes, my hair was super frizzy. Yes, I wasn’t super fashionable. Yes, I wasn’t athletic. Yes, I even wasn’t “voluptuous” as some other girls were at early adolescence. And I got picked on for that. For all of that!

It even started back in elementary school, when I first had to wear glasses. Instantly the whole dynamic seemed to change in the class. I really hated waring my glasses, because the other kids just didn’t like me anymore. Refused to play with me even.Now I see that ALL of this actually shaped me. Made me belief that I wasn’t worth it.

That, if I wore glasses, people would not like me anymore. Wouldn’t even speak to me anymore.

I honestly believed that the whole world was soley based on the way you look.
“Look good, then you’ll be succesful”.

f56a5e55cba64e70b4a557444fc616caSo I started working on my outer beauty. Showing up as a fashionable, good looking, athletic person. Even refusing to wear my glasses in public.

Now I realize how fucked up that really is. It’s all about what’s on the inside. I’ts always been like that.

Larissa-den-Enting-motivator

Being an amazing person by carachter, is what defines you.

Someone doesn’t like you for who you are?
They’re not your type of person. Just NOT…

And it really doesn’t matter where.
If it’s in your personal life or in business.
You should always be able to BE you.
Show up as YOU.
Trust in you.

Currently I am making drastic changes based on this.
Choosing myself. My happiness. My health even.

Something doesn’t feel good?
Someone makes me feel not good?
Bye Bye.

So, I’m off now. Onto making one of these huge changes. Scary, but super excited! I am choosing me.

Will you do the same? Choose YOU. Now!

About me

First of all, thank you so much for finding the time to come over to my website. I hope you find it interesting and helpful. Should you have any questions though, please feel free to contact me. Any time!

My name is Larissa den Enting-Bremmer. I know, long LONG name, which is quite common here in the Netherlands (where I live) when you’re married. I am married to an amazing, loving and super supportive husband whose name is Raymond den Enting (hence my last name). We have 2 fun and cheeky boys, with the oldest being 5 years old and the youngest 1 year old. In addition we have 3 cats, and live in a small town called Amersfoort near Utrecht, which is like the actual centre of the Netherlands.

I started this website with the knowledge that I have an important message to share with the world. For a really long time, I have been trying to not think about it.

To not do anything with it.
To completely forget it.
To focus on other stuff.
To just let it be.

Up untill I decided “enough is enough”. My message is a powerful message that needs to be heard. That needs to come out. Even though it sure is scary. Painful even. Not doing it no longer is an option. This is the time. It is perfect right now. Because everything is perfect. ALWAYS!

So here I am. Having been through hell and back (you can read more about my story here). Having suffered from depression, complex PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), anxiety attacks and fibromyalgia, but NOW stronger than ever before. I am living proof that you can turn any extremely bad situation into something good. That you can actually start to love life again. Enjoy life to the fullest.

For the past years, I have been studying how the mind works with the effects of trauma. What, in addition to standard therapy, can aid in the recovery. And even speed things up.

How I have come to this point now, you ask?
I have had a traumatic experience in my late childhood. Not just one event, but multiple, hence the complex ptsd. For years on end, I tried to ignore what was going on inside of me. Just pushed it away, trying to just be normal like everyone else.

Until I couldn’t go further any more. My father had passed away in a horrible accident, after having been sick for many years with an agressive brain tumor. At that time I was pregnant with our youngest son, so refused to (yet again) feel anything. Just to make sure my unborn son wouldn’t feel my stress too much.
Of course it just doesn’t work like that! And of course my pregnancy started to react on my stress levels. I had the first contractions when I was around 25 weeks pregnant. Luckily I took the rest that we both needed, just in time. But I knew something had to be done about all the stress, after giving birth.

So here I was. I had just given birth to our baby boy, and wasn’t feeling like myself. Still, however, I denied that I was actually doing really bad. I went to the doctor (still in denial though) and he sent me to a psychologist.

She was the very first one to ever take my story serious. Take ME serious. It was quite the shock to see her face when I told what I had gone through. She was shocked by my story! By my life! By how I lived, no survived, back then. She diagnosed me with c-ptsd, something I have always know to have. It has been inside of me all along, but was finally triggered to come out after my dad died.

After many sessions with her, I went on to another therapist for EMDR sessions. Had 10 sessions or so, and it is the most insane thing I have ever experienced. Kind of like meditation, visualization, affirmations, resurfacing of lots of old hurt, getting rid of old beliefs, and getting in touch with my soul. All at the same time!

Now, I don’t want to make it sound prettier than it is. It is a treatment they only do when they are sure you can handle going though it all again. It is a treatment that they’d rather not do. All because it is extremely painful. Reliving all the old pains and reliving your painful past. Experiencing the most extreme headaches afterwards for 3 days in a row, extreme tiredness, and lots more.

But all the while I had this deep sense that EMDR has shed most of the darkness inside of me. And let me tell you: there was a LOT of darkness. I believe it was almost only darkness. The EMDR sessions cracked me open. Allowed me to let the light back in. It allowed me to actually connect to my soul.

This, together with a lot mindset work and meditation, changed me into the person I am today. My own happy me, being grateful for all my life experiences. Loving myself, accepting myself completely, and enjoying every bit of life.

So here I stand today, knowing what can be accomplished with the right guidance.
With lots of hard work. Action to take. Facing your true self, and no more hiding from it.
I can and I will show you ultiple ways of finding joy in your life again, simply by being you. Because that’s all it takes.  Being you and accepting you.

So… are you ready? Ready for big changes? Ready to face it? Ready to work your ass off? All in order to feel better! To start loving your life again. No matter your past!

Let me know!

XOXO
Larissa

p.s. Forgot to tell you:
In addition to all of this, I am also the owner of my amazing webshop www.scarfz.nl. I am so passionate about my webshop, where we sell scarves and all kinds of fashion musthaves.
I honestly believe that having this webshop is one of the main reasons I was able to speed up my recovery. Being so passionate, enjoying every bit of it, this could make my entire day when it was going bad for me.

Stand tall like a Unicorn

You know a unicorn is special, right?
Magical.
Beautiful.
Perfect.

You are special too. You are in fact a magical being. Beautiful. Perfect.
All you have to do, is simply realize it and let it out.

This morning I drove our oldest son to school. Not in our regular car. Nope, we have a temporary rental car from the garage, while they are fixing our car.
Not just a standard BMW like the one we have. No, a really awesome and super fast BMW Z4. So of course I had to drive my son to school in this car. I mean, of course…

The sun was shining already, so the first thing he asked me, was “Can we drive it with the top down?”. So that’s what we did. He LOVED it! He was smiling and super happy. Then he asked me to turn the radio louder, so that everyone could hear it too.

At first it felt strange to me, and I told myself:
Please just act normal! Noooo, why the radio too? Now everyone’s looking at us. What will the think? OMG they think we’re complete show-offs!

Until I realized that this is complete nonsense.
Why act “normal”?
Why try to fit in?
Fit in with the crowd
Fit in with this boring normality

When it all can be so much more fun? Awesome? Amazing? Fun?

I don’t feel normal. I know I’m not “normal”. What is normal even? As far as I know it’s conforming to a norm. A man-made norm, that is.

But I don’t even like that. I am on a journey to fully accept myself for who I AM. Being different than others. Showing that I am different, think different, dream different. Act different.

Talking openly about it, knowing that it will always inspire others with it. And that’s what I love.

Making sure that you too know how to stand tall. Act like a Unicorn. A special being. Because that’s what we all are.

Special.
Amazing.
Beautiful.
Perfect!

You just need to decide to act on it. It’s that simple.