Let’s talk about family. What is your vision on family? Do you have a vision or not at all?
I have one. But over the years, I have come to the conclusion that this vision has hugely changed for me.
I have a family, my own family of people who I choose to be with and, of course, the 2 kiddies that I made. Because family doens’t mean being surrounded by your relatives.
Yes, you might be related to them. But if they dont support, respect, love and encourage you. Perhaps it’s time to find out what IS important for you.
I have dealt with this for quite some time in the past. My relationship with my mther has been intense, to say the least. When my parents got divorced, I knew it was the right time for me to end all contact with her. It would set me free instantly. Oh well, that’s what I thought back then. So there and then I decided to no longer talk to her, speak with her, or even see her. Such a strong decision!
Nope, it wasn’t a choice that I found easy to make. It was indeed one of the most difficult decisions ever. But I did it to protect myself. Because I needed this time away from her.
This time to heal myself. The last bit took me more than 10 years, but hey… I did it.
So, I had my mother who I had thrown out of my life. For me. Big step!
But there was my dad. He just couldn’t understand it. Couldn’t understand why I choose to no longer have contact with her. To remove her from my life entirely.
Up until the year before his death, he always told me “You only have 1 mother, please reconnect with her. Just try it, it’s not that bad.”
The first time he said this, I got so angry and sad. I mean, what was wrong with him for saying this? Sure, he also lived with her. He endured every crazy thing she did. He watched and stood by to see what she did to me and my life. It hurt me like crazy that he told me these things. Didn’t he see it? Didn’t he see that HE was hurting me now? It even came to the point where I quickly walked away, whenever he would try again. Just walk away and act as if it’s not happening.
But I got stronger. I knew I stood behind my choice. Out of protection for myself, for the people in my life, for my kids. So I started speaking up. Telling him “NO, I am not going to reconnect with her”.In the year before he died, he just didn’t mention it anymore. Perhaps he knew I couldn’t be persuaded otherwise, or perhaps he was at peace with it. Who knows…
So yeah, I know what its like to choose your own family. Choose who you want to surround yourself. Choose the people you want in your life. Choose the energy (positive or nagative) you want in your life.
So make this choice for you. You fucking deserve a family the way its meant to be. A group of people that love, support, encourage, and motivate you.
People that always want what’s best for you, even if they perhaps don’t understand it. But they stand by you, support you either way.
You decide what you want. Who you want in your life. It’s not an easy thing to do. But you deserve only the best.
So choose now…
Choose for love, pure self-love
Choose what you tolerate
Choose who you want in your life
Choose what you’re worth
Fed up with the constant battles? The constant taking you down? The constant fear of what comes next? Is that really the way you want to spend your life?
And you don’t need to!
So step up. Stand up for yourself. If any of your relatives treats you in a way that you don’t like? Say it! Just fucking say it. I mean, they tell you whatever they want without thinking of your actual needs. You need to set the boudaries and show them what you are made of.
You are strong.
You are loved
You are amazing
You are smart
You are creative
You are intelligent
You are gorgeous
You deserve the best! You are worth having amazing people in your life. It’s all just about knowing – deep within you – that you are worth being treated well. If someone treats you bad, even if it is family, make a decision.
You either stand up for yourself and say something about it (or end all contact if it’s getting too bad), or shut up and accept that it will never change.
So, what’s it going to be, my love? You decide!