💢 What the hell is happening?! It’s so quiet now. So peaceful, easy going, relaxed. Hm. What do I do now?
Okay, this is too quiet. Too peaceful, too relaxed.
I’m getting bored now. I need excitement!
And you know what? This is all wrong. It can’t be good. Life can’t be this good. It’s like the calm before the storm. Something is about to go terribly wrong. I just know!
Something MUST go wrong. I KNOW something will go wrong. It’s always like that, like a rollercoaster. 💢
So I ask myself…
▶️ CAN YOU BE ADDICTED TO STRUGGLES?
It’s one of those questions I keep on asking myself while journaling, even though I already know the answer.
But it fascinates me. And it amazes me at the same time.
Funny thing is that I can’t seem to find anything about it on the internet. As if no one else feels the need to discuss this. Or perhaps because its too challenging to even think about.
👉 Why would anyone be ADDICTED to challenges?
👉 Can you even be addicted to STRUGGLES?
👉 And, why would anyone ever WANT or NEED difficulties?
👉 Let alone, go LOOKING for ’em? Creating it?
Right? I know that’s what you’re probably thinking while reading this. “Has she completely lost her mind? Why would anyone WANT struggles in their life? Doesn’t everybody just want a happy and easy life?!”.
But it’s true though. You can absolutely be addicted to difficulties, struggles, challenges.
I used to tell myself that I NEED challenges. Why? Because otherwise life gets boring. It gets dull, too relaxed, too easy going. And I just don’t know how to handle that.
Yes, of course this has to do with the fact that my brain is so used to the fight-or-flight mode that I have lived in for so long. It’s like my own “normal”. Anything other than SURVIVAL MODE, is scary as shit for my brain.
👀 You see….
For those of us who’ve had lots of struggles in life, the FEELING that difficulties give is a familiar feeling. You KNOW it well. It just feels so familiar, that it actually feels safe.
😵 Yes. Struggles feel safe! 😵
I know, it’s mind-boggling. But you understand this IF you’re one of us.
You just know how it works. You know the drill. You know how to survive. You know what you need to do. You know exactly what to do. Always.
I remember talking to someone with a similar past as mine. And how we just know EXACTLY what to do whenever life becomes challenging again. Since we’ve dealt with it so many times, it’s like going on automatic pilot.
➡️ Shut off all emotions.
➡️ Okay, autopilot on.
➡️ Do whatever needs to be done.
➡️ Back to survival mode.
But when life seems good? Easy? Everything going the way we actually WANT it to go?
That’s scary! Because HOW do you deal with that, when your mind just screams for the excitment and feeling of safety that comes with struggles???
✨ By relesasing the need for it.
✨ Over and over, and over again.
✨ And then some more.
And yes, tonight I’m releasing this crazy ass addiction too. Again. And again. And over and over again. Until it’s completely replaced with a deep belief that it’s safe for me to always enjoy an easy going life.
You can do this too, gorgeous. I know you can. You’ve got this!