I’m in a foul mood. Am I seriously going to write about that today? Hell yes, I am. Because if I have learned one thing from my mentor, is that you show up. Always. No matter how you feel, no matter if you feel like it or not. You just show up and let the message come out, no matter what. So here I am…
So what it is that I will be writing about to you?
Well, I have been crying this morning. Something happened, well… a lot of things happened actually. And then I just need to release all of it. It’s just the way it is. Just the way I work.
Sure, it all started with my throat being sore, my tonsils swollen, my nose stuffed. Didn’t sleep well either. And we all know what a bad night of sleep does, right?!
But I also know that a bad night, brings me to feeling a lot of things. Lots of emotions bubbling up. And that leads to epic writing. It always does. Thus I just show up and unleash the message from within….
As I said before, I was crying this morning. Now don’t go feeling sad for me. No need to do that! It’s all OK now.
It’s just this thing that keeps coming up. As a gentle reminder. Or perhaps not so gentle at all.
It’s lying. People lying to me. I can’t handle that. Still can’t. Still won’t.
I’ve been lied to countless times. Yes, I know, it happens to everyone. Yes, I know it hurts. Yes, I know it’s not fair. And that you don’t like it either. But it’s part of human beings right? Lying is normal, right? Everyone tells some lies from time to time, right?
I don’t know where you’re from, but in my world, in my vision of the world, telling a lie is never OK. Never.
Perhaps this has to do with my past. Being lied to was part of a mind-fuck that my mother was playing on me. On our entire family even. And not just that…. She even fooled everyone she encountered, with her lies. It was part of her being. Guess that’s why I hate lies. It was done too often too me. It was a part of my life for way too long. Became a part of me, even.
I mean, being lied to that often that you start to feel as if you are the crazy one? That it feels as if you are making things up? That you start to doubt your own sanity? That you no longer trust your own judgement? That you start to second-guess your own ability to remember things that happened?
Maybe the one telling the lies and making you believe the lies, was in fact right. Maybe the one doing this to you, knows more. Maybe you are in fact really insane, crazy, wrong. Maybe the lies are in fact true. And maybe… Just maybe… You’re the one seeing things wrong, even though you clearly know it’s all lies. But that doesn’t matter. You must be wrong. If someone tells you often enough that you’re wrong, crazy, insane… That must be true then.
There’s this crazy thing with a human brain. Tell it enough lies, and it will start believing the lies. Or at least doubting reality. You can do this with your own mind. You do this already, even if you’re not aware of it.
If you do it in a positive way, it’s mindset work. You simply trick your mind into believing positive things you tell yourself. Works like a charm! Or you tell yourself enough negative things and soon you’ll start believing these negative things to be true. Whatever works best for you, right?
But did you know…
Did you know that others can use these tricks on you too?
Sure you know. We all know how others can manipulate you into believing things, into seeing things a specific way.
But did you know?
Did you know that some people, perhaps even quite a lot of people, know how to use this power against people? It’s called gaslighting and is often done as a mind-game by manipulators and mentally unhealthy people.
All to make you doubt your own sanity. All to make you look like a fool. A fool who’s clearly wrong about everything, and the person doing this to you is always right. Duh…
Mind-fuckery at its best!
So yeah… I don’t do well with lies being told. Me being lied to. Even if, like this morning, I thought my son was telling a lie. Nothing big! I mean, he’s a kid and was just a bit worried that I would get angry at him over something he did. Guess he was wrong…. I’m more OK with him being a kid and doing crazy kid-stuff, than being lied to. Yes, this even goes for my kids. Lying about things? Not OK. Never.
Better be completely open and honest, and speak up. That’s what I value. That’s what I love. That’s what works best for me. And with me even.
So are you speaking up? Speaking your own truth? Being you? The real you! No holding back, no lying. Not to others, and clearly also not to yourself.